MY PAIN

My whole life has been a pain. At times it feels like I don’t belong and at times it feels like life and I ain’t friends.I believe the world would have been a better place without me; it’ll be better if I was with angels. By telling you my life story I want you to know that I am strong enough for I have been through something that might have killed you.
I’ve lived with chronic pain for nine years now—and counting. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every month of every year, I’ve been in excruciating pain—the kind of pain that only a select group of people understand. No matter what I do, or not do, the pain is with me. Even at 4:00 a.m. while I am sleeping, a part of my mind is aware of the pain coursing through my joints, muscles, spine, and brain.Like everyone with severe chronic pain, it affects every aspect of my life: work, relationships, physical health, mental well-being, and overall life quality
I rarely dwell in the past and sometimes my distant memories even seem to be from another person’s life. I have changed so much over the years that I often wonder what kind of magic lead me to this current place. I am so used to my new self that sometimes I can’t even explain my transformation. Everything has become so natural that if someone would ask me how can I be so happy or peaceful, then it’s possible that I wouldn’t know the answer. Happiness just seems to be the natural state for humans. Why should I be miserable?
However, that kind of attitude would’ve been a complete utopia many years back, because I felt like the most unfortunate person alive.To share my story and inspire others to live and help themselves, I consider it necessary to remember what happened to me and how did I find myself. This story has a lot of sad and painful elements, which I rarely write or talk about, because I have a very positive outlook on life and I prefer to live in the present, but I feel that people must hear it. Nothing in life deserves to be hidden or locked away, repainted with bright colors. 
To be continued..Part 2